World of Whatnow?
Normally I don’t go in for all this killing animals for the chance of winning a pair of shorts from them, and normally I’d question the motives of a wolf if it had such a thing on its person... or animal... or whatever you say in that instance, but this is World of Warcraft, and wolves carry shorts, gloves, guns, swords, small pouches and occasionally broken shields. I dunno, maybe they’re preparing for war or something... A war that needs linen goods. And broken shields. Nevertheless, I run at them with my trusty worn shortsword and give several of them the beatdown. Aha! I just exploded! Must have gone up a level! Yes! Now I can hit slightly harder than I could ten seconds ago! So I run back to the guy who sent me on a ‘quest’ (if you can call it that... I’m sure he could have gotten some meat from the butchers or something) and give him the stupid meat, and he shoots me a look that was halfway between ‘what took you so damn long’ and ‘MEAT!!! I LIKE TASTY SAVOURY!!!’ Needless to say I took my prize and ran off rather quickly, in case he ran out of wolf meat and wanted my leg as a second course.
A while later, I’m walking through this forest, and this guy comes over and starts hitting me with a butter knife! I was like ‘Hey! What are you doing?’ and I hit him with my sword। It took his red bandana thing because it looked cool, but I couldn’t tie a knot in it to I threw it away। It landed on a nearby rabbit and made it look like a little rabbit superhero. I watched the little guy for half an hour before I realised I was supposed to be going to the inn to tell some guy that some stuff has happened. As it turned out, I ended up being the messenger between two lazy soldier guys who seemed to like picking on low-level warriors. I figured I’d leave revenge for a later date because I was too preoccupied in trying to get myself a slightly better sword by selling everything else I own to the point where I can’t actually go outdoors without getting arrested for being illegal.
So once I’d killed some more clothes wolves, I stood in the middle of Goldshire, as it’s called, and waited for an idea to pop into my head pertaining to what I was to do next। Then this guy came over, asking me if I wanted to join his guild... I was very dubious, as it reminded me of that time some old guy tried to coax me into his house with sweets. Luckily for me, I didn’t like liquorice. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so this guy comes over to me and offers me money to sign this bit of paper. I like money, so I signed it as quickly as my stubby warrior fingers would go, and held my hands out to receive the free money. I danced. It was a tasty moment. That gave me an idea for what to do next. I was tired of killing wolves and petty thieves, so I thought I’d go and kill some mining dudes that had stolen some stuff. I thought ‘it’s time to get my crime solving on!’ and headed south to the mine. I got there and there was this one dude with a big gold tooth. I forget his name. I killed him and stole his tooth. Crimefighting has its rewards!
The big city awaited। I walked down this seemingly endless road, until I got to the end. In about four minutes. The city was huge, with large, unnecessary statues of people who lost adorning the sides of the pathway. I ignored them and headed for the centre of town, where there were plenty of people to tell me what to do. I did their tasks one by one, taking every opportunity to stop and get a little bit drunk from the cheap reward wine I was given. Mmm... It was tasty, like vinegar is. I like vinegar. I stumbled upon this guy standing by a big open gap, with some kind of flying liony eagle thing, and he says “gimme some money and you can fly anywhere you want... well... that you’ve already been to...” I thought to myself how useless this was, but then I realised he’d actually given me the cue to get a wriggle on around the continent and find places to fly to. On the way to my first place with a flight connection, I saw some wolves attacking this little guy, and went over to help. Well... I say help, I mean distract the wolves enough to get them to run after me instead of the guy they were chasing. He was then killed by the strangely infamous fiend, the ‘Hogger’. This was a strange cross between a pig and a small man. I’m not even gonna ask what went on there... I’d rather not know. So I was left with several wolves on my trail, then I remembered something. My early days as a clothes wolf slayer had taught me that wolves aren’t the smartest, or most agile, so I climbed a tree and waited for them to go away. Three days I waited, and they’d finally given up to chase some other poor guy.
I arrived at the place that has the liony eagle thing terminal and set up my connection, then I went up to the big tower to see if there were any errands that needed to be done. This one guy said ‘yeah, go kill some stuff for me’ and this other guy said ‘do you want to see some puppies?’. I stayed away from that guy. I wanted to see the view from the top of the tower, and proceeded up the stairs to the top. I was standing right on the edge of the wall at the top, adjusting my camera angle to get a good view of the surroundings. And I fell off. Good job none of my bones or anything broke, that’d have been annoying...
A while later, I’m walking through this forest, and this guy comes over and starts hitting me with a butter knife! I was like ‘Hey! What are you doing?’ and I hit him with my sword। It took his red bandana thing because it looked cool, but I couldn’t tie a knot in it to I threw it away। It landed on a nearby rabbit and made it look like a little rabbit superhero. I watched the little guy for half an hour before I realised I was supposed to be going to the inn to tell some guy that some stuff has happened. As it turned out, I ended up being the messenger between two lazy soldier guys who seemed to like picking on low-level warriors. I figured I’d leave revenge for a later date because I was too preoccupied in trying to get myself a slightly better sword by selling everything else I own to the point where I can’t actually go outdoors without getting arrested for being illegal.
So once I’d killed some more clothes wolves, I stood in the middle of Goldshire, as it’s called, and waited for an idea to pop into my head pertaining to what I was to do next। Then this guy came over, asking me if I wanted to join his guild... I was very dubious, as it reminded me of that time some old guy tried to coax me into his house with sweets. Luckily for me, I didn’t like liquorice. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so this guy comes over to me and offers me money to sign this bit of paper. I like money, so I signed it as quickly as my stubby warrior fingers would go, and held my hands out to receive the free money. I danced. It was a tasty moment. That gave me an idea for what to do next. I was tired of killing wolves and petty thieves, so I thought I’d go and kill some mining dudes that had stolen some stuff. I thought ‘it’s time to get my crime solving on!’ and headed south to the mine. I got there and there was this one dude with a big gold tooth. I forget his name. I killed him and stole his tooth. Crimefighting has its rewards!
The big city awaited। I walked down this seemingly endless road, until I got to the end. In about four minutes. The city was huge, with large, unnecessary statues of people who lost adorning the sides of the pathway. I ignored them and headed for the centre of town, where there were plenty of people to tell me what to do. I did their tasks one by one, taking every opportunity to stop and get a little bit drunk from the cheap reward wine I was given. Mmm... It was tasty, like vinegar is. I like vinegar. I stumbled upon this guy standing by a big open gap, with some kind of flying liony eagle thing, and he says “gimme some money and you can fly anywhere you want... well... that you’ve already been to...” I thought to myself how useless this was, but then I realised he’d actually given me the cue to get a wriggle on around the continent and find places to fly to. On the way to my first place with a flight connection, I saw some wolves attacking this little guy, and went over to help. Well... I say help, I mean distract the wolves enough to get them to run after me instead of the guy they were chasing. He was then killed by the strangely infamous fiend, the ‘Hogger’. This was a strange cross between a pig and a small man. I’m not even gonna ask what went on there... I’d rather not know. So I was left with several wolves on my trail, then I remembered something. My early days as a clothes wolf slayer had taught me that wolves aren’t the smartest, or most agile, so I climbed a tree and waited for them to go away. Three days I waited, and they’d finally given up to chase some other poor guy.
I arrived at the place that has the liony eagle thing terminal and set up my connection, then I went up to the big tower to see if there were any errands that needed to be done. This one guy said ‘yeah, go kill some stuff for me’ and this other guy said ‘do you want to see some puppies?’. I stayed away from that guy. I wanted to see the view from the top of the tower, and proceeded up the stairs to the top. I was standing right on the edge of the wall at the top, adjusting my camera angle to get a good view of the surroundings. And I fell off. Good job none of my bones or anything broke, that’d have been annoying...