The Slimming World Saga - Third Visit
Oh what an eventful meeting this was!
I actually decided to get there early, to avoid having to wait for ages to hear my own weight loss shouted from the rooftops, and I was half disappointed, and half not. On the one hand, I was disappointed that I'd not met my target (a sackable offense in the workplace), and as such set a lower target for next week. I plan to use all of the sins I've been saving up in Glasgow, where alcohol is mandatory.
So I got there, and there were already a few eager people queuing up to see if they had any less fat. Before I got my chance though my phone rang, and everyone heard that I had the Rocky theme, and as such, everyone demanded that I bluetooth it to them... bunch of noise scavengers!
Then I stepped onto the Pedestal of Girth, and disovered that I wasn't to receive the holy noise from the sacred bell this time. "Oh no!" I thought as I went to a nearby seat to await the parade. I was to wait a while, as there more innocent victims-sorry, new members arriving to be induceted. I looked over to them with an unneccesary air of superiority, one that said "I've been here for 2 weeks and lost weight in my toes already!"
I was taken aback this time around, when the group leader was going around the circle. One of the members fought back against the oppression!
GL: You've put on a pound this week... What happened?
M: I know exactly what it was, but DON'T EVEN ASK ME WHAT I WAS EATING!!
GL: Oh! Oh... OK... Uh, w-well as long as you know what the problem was...
M: Yes I do.
Stick it to the Man, I say!
Anyway, then came to the end of the proceedings, and there was one last announcement. It turned out I'd outdid all of the people in the group who'd been going there for years, and got Slimmer of the Week, a prestigious honour, in my third week at Slimming World. There were some unhappy faces, I can tell you!
For the main part, the unhappy faces were because the winner of this weekly accolade receives a bag of odds and sods that people bring in. This week, for the odds and sods tray, I brough in a packet of noodles, but I did it as a gamble. I was confident of winning the prize, so I pitched in with something I actually need for the next day's lunch. My gamble paid dividends, and boy did it!
The contents were as follows:
1 pack of noodles (The ones I contributed)
1 pack of mild curry flavoured rice
6 tangerines
2 apples
1 peach
1 tin of plum tomatoes
1 tin of sweetcorn in an unknown liquid
But the piece du resistance... a small 5cl bottle of Vladivar Vodka!
Bullseye! I could tell people were jealous of me and my newly-won vodka, I had to defend it with my life! (I nearly needed a stick to prise one woman away from my Champion's Selection!)
No amount of slightly bemused faces could keep me away from my prize!
Bwaha!! See ya next week!!
I actually decided to get there early, to avoid having to wait for ages to hear my own weight loss shouted from the rooftops, and I was half disappointed, and half not. On the one hand, I was disappointed that I'd not met my target (a sackable offense in the workplace), and as such set a lower target for next week. I plan to use all of the sins I've been saving up in Glasgow, where alcohol is mandatory.
So I got there, and there were already a few eager people queuing up to see if they had any less fat. Before I got my chance though my phone rang, and everyone heard that I had the Rocky theme, and as such, everyone demanded that I bluetooth it to them... bunch of noise scavengers!
Then I stepped onto the Pedestal of Girth, and disovered that I wasn't to receive the holy noise from the sacred bell this time. "Oh no!" I thought as I went to a nearby seat to await the parade. I was to wait a while, as there more innocent victims-sorry, new members arriving to be induceted. I looked over to them with an unneccesary air of superiority, one that said "I've been here for 2 weeks and lost weight in my toes already!"
I was taken aback this time around, when the group leader was going around the circle. One of the members fought back against the oppression!
GL: You've put on a pound this week... What happened?
M: I know exactly what it was, but DON'T EVEN ASK ME WHAT I WAS EATING!!
GL: Oh! Oh... OK... Uh, w-well as long as you know what the problem was...
M: Yes I do.
Stick it to the Man, I say!
Anyway, then came to the end of the proceedings, and there was one last announcement. It turned out I'd outdid all of the people in the group who'd been going there for years, and got Slimmer of the Week, a prestigious honour, in my third week at Slimming World. There were some unhappy faces, I can tell you!
For the main part, the unhappy faces were because the winner of this weekly accolade receives a bag of odds and sods that people bring in. This week, for the odds and sods tray, I brough in a packet of noodles, but I did it as a gamble. I was confident of winning the prize, so I pitched in with something I actually need for the next day's lunch. My gamble paid dividends, and boy did it!
The contents were as follows:
1 pack of noodles (The ones I contributed)
1 pack of mild curry flavoured rice
6 tangerines
2 apples
1 peach
1 tin of plum tomatoes
1 tin of sweetcorn in an unknown liquid
But the piece du resistance... a small 5cl bottle of Vladivar Vodka!
Bullseye! I could tell people were jealous of me and my newly-won vodka, I had to defend it with my life! (I nearly needed a stick to prise one woman away from my Champion's Selection!)
No amount of slightly bemused faces could keep me away from my prize!
Bwaha!! See ya next week!!